To take my mind off of things and get my shit together I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.

I’ve been working out and eating clean – I’ve lost half a stone. And that has taken up a huge chunk of time by going to the gym and meal prep. I’ve also started drawing again and writing music. I’m teaching myself Swedish. I am working full time, doing an apprenticeship and volunteering as an animal health care assistant at the vets in preparation for my vet nurse training which is due to start in September. On top of this, I’ve started gaming again and I’m trying to see my friends more.

I’m trying to give myself a purpose. I’ve felt a little useless lately, even though my best friend who tells me how great he thinks I am everyday. I still feel totally….. irrelevant?

Things have the potential to be amazing, but are still so out of reach and you can’t make people love or want you. Even witch craft can’t do that. You can want someone so dearly but life gets in the way and some people just aren’t willing to work through it. – or that you’re not worth the effort?Âż I don’t know

But, I’ve realised I’ve not mentioned Millie in a while. She’s doing great, she’s not in work at the moment because I am a little strapped for cash and cannot afford her regumate to make her safe to ride. But she’s more than enjoying her time off. As soon as money gets better, I’ll be back on and training for the show season….. which begins next month.

I’m going to compete at preliminary level this year which is exciting and terrifying. Only one class up from introductory but it has the dreaded gate of canter thrown in.

I’m sure we will be fine. She’s great with throwing the right lead but it’s just the speed I’m concerned for. She looks the part and I’m going to try my best to keep her feathers this year. I’m not 100% sure I like her feathers but I didn’t give them much of a chance when I first got her. I want to see if they complement her movement and paces nicely, if they don’t I’ll clip them off and we can stick to our smart hunter look.

I also have a shopping list for this season

  • New riding hat
  • New navy show jacket that isn’t a hand me down
  • My own boots so my mum and I don’t have to frantically swap in between our classes
  • White gloves

It’s gunna cost me a bomb but I wanna look the part and fake it til I make it.

that’s all for now folks

Catch ya laters



Norman is ulcer free

I’ve recently mentioned that my mums Andalusian, Norman had stomach ulcers

A week ago he was re scanned and it all came back clear!

Norman hates loading and refuses to load, so the vets came to us. He has to be staves for over 12 hours before the scan. Last time when he loaded and we took him to the vets, his stomach was empty because the stress of being on the trailer made everything pass through quickly. This time, as he was scanned at home, he wasn’t stressed so even after 12 hours plus – he had bits of food in there!

But nothing we couldn’t wash away (yep, we WASHED the inside of his belly)

Here are some vids

Here a vid of the view on the way out through his nose

If you wanna know more about ulcers – check out my other blog post

Catch ya laters


It’s been a while hasn’t it? Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten you all, even though the đź’• emoji is moving slowly down my recently used folder cos I’ve not been posting. 

The truth is my head has been so damn jumbled I haven’t known how to get my words out. Or even what to write about. 

Some old memories have come back to haunt me and I’ve been feeling so numb. 

A drastic change has been made to my education because the exam board I’m with is closing due to cuts and my anxiety riddled brain cannot hack it. 

I’ve never been good at balancing lots of things at once. Even the simple things like healthy eating, studying and a social life – yet alone chucking song writing, horse riding and blogging thrown into the mix.

I’ve got an amazing support system and a good future a head of me if all goes to plan so I’ve just gotta focus on that. 

I’ve been reading lots of blog though so I’ve not totally disregarded blogging. Just put it on the back burner until I get myself sorted. 

Watch this space. 

Thanks guys,

Catch ya laters