To take my mind off of things and get my shit together I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.
I’ve been working out and eating clean – I’ve lost half a stone. And that has taken up a huge chunk of time by going to the gym and meal prep. I’ve also started drawing again and writing music. I’m teaching myself Swedish. I am working full time, doing an apprenticeship and volunteering as an animal health care assistant at the vets in preparation for my vet nurse training which is due to start in September. On top of this, I’ve started gaming again and I’m trying to see my friends more.
I’m trying to give myself a purpose. I’ve felt a little useless lately, even though my best friend who tells me how great he thinks I am everyday. I still feel totally….. irrelevant?
Things have the potential to be amazing, but are still so out of reach and you can’t make people love or want you. Even witch craft can’t do that. You can want someone so dearly but life gets in the way and some people just aren’t willing to work through it. – or that you’re not worth the effort?¿ I don’t know
But, I’ve realised I’ve not mentioned Millie in a while. She’s doing great, she’s not in work at the moment because I am a little strapped for cash and cannot afford her regumate to make her safe to ride. But she’s more than enjoying her time off. As soon as money gets better, I’ll be back on and training for the show season….. which begins next month.
I’m going to compete at preliminary level this year which is exciting and terrifying. Only one class up from introductory but it has the dreaded gate of canter thrown in.
I’m sure we will be fine. She’s great with throwing the right lead but it’s just the speed I’m concerned for. She looks the part and I’m going to try my best to keep her feathers this year. I’m not 100% sure I like her feathers but I didn’t give them much of a chance when I first got her. I want to see if they complement her movement and paces nicely, if they don’t I’ll clip them off and we can stick to our smart hunter look.
I also have a shopping list for this season
- New riding hat
- New navy show jacket that isn’t a hand me down
- My own boots so my mum and I don’t have to frantically swap in between our classes
- White gloves
It’s gunna cost me a bomb but I wanna look the part and fake it til I make it.
that’s all for now folks
Catch ya laters
In my last post I explained that I was taking a break and some time for myself and I have.
And I feel much better for it, and in all honestly I’ve had a spiritual journey as well. Iv taken up new beliefs which bring peace in my mind and I see things in a totally new light. I ask the gods to give me the power to do things and not ask them to just do it for me. I feel calmer, more powerful and at home now.
There are many types of old pre Cristian religions all derived from didn’t places in history. I feel I fall in the Norse Pagan category but there is still so much to learn. But I might blog about that later.
For all my horsey followers here’s some news! I’ve been competing and placing in dressage in Millie. Yes, my naughty mare who spend her free time putting me on my ass. And here’s the best part
The other day I popped her over a jump.
Look how happy she looks! Her cute little face is just screaming “I LOVE THIS SO MUCH”
I’m looking to enter the last two low key unaffiliated show jumping shows we hold at the yard next month.
So here I am, back, brand new and excited for the future!
Catch ya laters,
This weekend we had another show at the farm.
Again I competed on my noble stead Zimmocha, but she wasn’t feeling it this weekend. She decided on the Saturday that it was too windy and she really didn’t like the flower pots around the arena and had other plans when it came to cantering KEH and sort of went KEGHA and we placed 3rd…….. Out of three. But I’m not angry or disappointed, she just wasn’t feeling it. On the Sunday however, I was just so tense from the test before that it showed in my riding. We placed 6th… But I’m just chuffed that the rosette is pink!
But the real star girl this weekend was my gorgeous bay. Millie. Yes, Millie as in the hormonal, fence destroying, bronking moody mare.
I know, I’m on cloud nine.
Without thinking I tacked her up as normal and headed over to the warm up arena and was stopped by my boss who told me I couldn’t ride in a pelum and martingale. (I had no idea, all I wanna do is jump) And I broke down, I was a mess. But I feel if I knew this before hand I wouldn’t have even entered. The shock in the sudden change of bit obviously took Millie by surprise as she didn’t yank my arms out!! She offered me a natural outline, which I wasn’t expecting so I didn’t hold he in it – so a lot of the comment mentioned her being quite hollow. But the judges overall comments started with “lots to like” which I am so incredibly happy with.
Moving forward we start Millie’s hormone therapy today, which means we can build on these skills and our 61.52%. Not bad for our first ever show hey?
Catch you laters