Two blog posts in one day!? Aren’t you lucky?
But this one is special, for a special mum who goes above and beyond for my father and I every damn day given the circumstances.
From practically being a single mum when we lived with my biological father to helping me and helping my navigate my mental health and understanding of it. You’ve been a god send. An angel.
Yes, I have been a total cow to you in the past – even as recently as the last few days. But my anger is only ever vented out to you, never aimed at you. We are so close and I think sometimes you’re the only one who truly understands me. You’re there all for me all the time for you’re bound to see me at my worst so please don’t ever take it personally.
Please don’t kill me for adding photos but I think you are beautiful.
Dad and I could never be able to repay you for what you have done for us – the meals you cook, the mess you tidy up behind us and the laughs you provide. Although we get annoyed at your nagging and …. Urm… irritability at times, it will never out weigh our love and appreciation for you.
Although your clothing choices for me as a kid were questionable you somehow managed to bring me up even when the world was against us. And I know when things go wrong for me like when I cry, get angry or don’t want to leave my room for days you blame yourself. But you are not responsible for the chemical imbalance in my brain. So never again for a second feel like a bad mum. You’re not, you’re an incredible mum.
“Me and my shadow”
I love you, with all my heart. Thank you thank you thank you for all you’ve done.
Happy Mother’s Day
To take my mind off of things and get my shit together I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.
I’ve been working out and eating clean – I’ve lost half a stone. And that has taken up a huge chunk of time by going to the gym and meal prep. I’ve also started drawing again and writing music. I’m teaching myself Swedish. I am working full time, doing an apprenticeship and volunteering as an animal health care assistant at the vets in preparation for my vet nurse training which is due to start in September. On top of this, I’ve started gaming again and I’m trying to see my friends more.
I’m trying to give myself a purpose. I’ve felt a little useless lately, even though my best friend who tells me how great he thinks I am everyday. I still feel totally….. irrelevant?
Things have the potential to be amazing, but are still so out of reach and you can’t make people love or want you. Even witch craft can’t do that. You can want someone so dearly but life gets in the way and some people just aren’t willing to work through it. – or that you’re not worth the effort?¿ I don’t know
But, I’ve realised I’ve not mentioned Millie in a while. She’s doing great, she’s not in work at the moment because I am a little strapped for cash and cannot afford her regumate to make her safe to ride. But she’s more than enjoying her time off. As soon as money gets better, I’ll be back on and training for the show season….. which begins next month.
I’m going to compete at preliminary level this year which is exciting and terrifying. Only one class up from introductory but it has the dreaded gate of canter thrown in.
I’m sure we will be fine. She’s great with throwing the right lead but it’s just the speed I’m concerned for. She looks the part and I’m going to try my best to keep her feathers this year. I’m not 100% sure I like her feathers but I didn’t give them much of a chance when I first got her. I want to see if they complement her movement and paces nicely, if they don’t I’ll clip them off and we can stick to our smart hunter look.
I also have a shopping list for this season
- New riding hat
- New navy show jacket that isn’t a hand me down
- My own boots so my mum and I don’t have to frantically swap in between our classes
- White gloves
It’s gunna cost me a bomb but I wanna look the part and fake it til I make it.
that’s all for now folks
Catch ya laters
Recently, as I said in my last post, I’ve finally mustered up the courage to jump Millie.
She LOVES jumping and in the pictures I’d take of our first session she looked so happy and eager to please.
But she’s a mare.
Opinionated and intelligent she decided by the second session that jumping properly like a good girl was so boring.
My first session I set up one jump, just to see how she jumps and take my aids. She was a super star.
So next time I set up two so we would jump one and circle around to the other. Due to the weather and some loading issues with Norman, my mums horse, the three days prior to this she hadn’t been worked.
She was wired. And another girl was riding her horse in the school too. So I was nervous. I always think people are judging us.
Millie ducked out at almost every time in canter. So I’d send her round to blow off some steam and try again. She’d duck out, I’d repeat and so on.
So thinking the girl who was in the school with me was getting annoyed with us dashing around at speed I was expecting to lose this battle.
But she sent her horse over the jump to see if Millie would follow and when she ducked out she stood her horse to the right where she ducked out. I thought Millie would see her as a barrier and clear it fine but this is Millie I’m talking about her.
Millie saw a small gap between the jump and the other horses head less than a foot wide and ducked and shoot through. And the other horse stood it’s ground as good as gold for me to try again. Not a single spook. She just moved her head. So the next time the girl explained because Millie ducks out to the right I should aim her towards the left wing. So I did, and it worked – with a little hesitation. So we tried again without the barrier and she jumped fine.
So I want to thank her and her horse, and if she reads this she’ll know who she is
Thanks again chick
Catch ya laters
I’ve recently mentioned that my mums Andalusian, Norman had stomach ulcers
A week ago he was re scanned and it all came back clear!
Norman hates loading and refuses to load, so the vets came to us. He has to be staves for over 12 hours before the scan. Last time when he loaded and we took him to the vets, his stomach was empty because the stress of being on the trailer made everything pass through quickly. This time, as he was scanned at home, he wasn’t stressed so even after 12 hours plus – he had bits of food in there!
But nothing we couldn’t wash away (yep, we WASHED the inside of his belly)
Here are some vids
Here a vid of the view on the way out through his nose
If you wanna know more about ulcers – check out my other blog post
Catch ya laters
I’ve not been active at all this week I’ve been totally overwhelmed with work, vets and being super sleepy.
As you all know I competed last week on my Millie and Zimmy, one of our liveries.
We had an awesome photographer there as well –Equine photography by Daisy – she also edits, mounts and even puts your picture on a canvas or keyring! Her page is fairly new so do give it a like to watch her progress and find out about horsey events she’s at!
As I mentioned in my blog posts about the show and my lazy riding that Zimmy and I haven’t been going so well lately but my naughty, hormonal Millie was outstanding with 61.52% on our first ever test/show. Considering she has thrown me off so many times in the past few months to a year, with multiple falls in one thirty minutes session and one time through a wooden fence I think that’s fantastic.
First up her are some picture of Zimmy and I:
Just as tense as each other
I love photos in canter, they look so graceful but we know how much work it takes to keep you bum where it should be. Photos like these are a lot like looking at a swan – so peaceful above the surface but underneath they’re working overtime.
I love show shot of Zimmy. (But how uneven are my hands!!!)
Free walk on a LONG rein – not a loose rein next time.
Obviously these are taken on different tests. But it’s the best part of every test ….. the end.
Got my game face on! Zimmy? Not so much.
Breathing and relaxing for the first time since the test started. Every competitor can relate.
Now for Millie and I:
Doesn’t she shine!?
Not round but still pretty.
So excited for the next show! To improve and get better score. Looking at photos is always good to make little tweaks to your riding and position. But ever since my post from my first ever show. The nerves are still overwhelming!
Catch you laters,
Okay, so I know horses are my “thing” but you guys liked my last post all about make up!
So here’s another.
The other day I got a new tattoo! It was my fourth and my largest piece so far.
It’s on the lower part of my right leg and the one pansy is for my nan who passed away two years ago. Her name was…….. You guessed it, Pansy. And she’s still missed dearly now and I still think of how crazy she was.
I had my tattoo done by a friend who is just starting out and I LOVE her stuff. She done such an amazing job on my last tattoo I just couldn’t stay away. You know how celebs have make up artists? Well, she’s going to be my tattoo artist from here on!
Check her out her name is Jazz Critten
Anyway, my make up for the day started out with my usual base as mentioned in my last blog post.
But this time I used my rose gold e.l.f pallette around my eyes and a top shop highlighter!
Oh and my hair is PINK !!
Catch ya laters!