To take my mind off of things and get my shit together I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.
I’ve been working out and eating clean – I’ve lost half a stone. And that has taken up a huge chunk of time by going to the gym and meal prep. I’ve also started drawing again and writing music. I’m teaching myself Swedish. I am working full time, doing an apprenticeship and volunteering as an animal health care assistant at the vets in preparation for my vet nurse training which is due to start in September. On top of this, I’ve started gaming again and I’m trying to see my friends more.
I’m trying to give myself a purpose. I’ve felt a little useless lately, even though my best friend who tells me how great he thinks I am everyday. I still feel totally….. irrelevant?
Things have the potential to be amazing, but are still so out of reach and you can’t make people love or want you. Even witch craft can’t do that. You can want someone so dearly but life gets in the way and some people just aren’t willing to work through it. – or that you’re not worth the effort?¿ I don’t know
But, I’ve realised I’ve not mentioned Millie in a while. She’s doing great, she’s not in work at the moment because I am a little strapped for cash and cannot afford her regumate to make her safe to ride. But she’s more than enjoying her time off. As soon as money gets better, I’ll be back on and training for the show season….. which begins next month.
I’m going to compete at preliminary level this year which is exciting and terrifying. Only one class up from introductory but it has the dreaded gate of canter thrown in.
I’m sure we will be fine. She’s great with throwing the right lead but it’s just the speed I’m concerned for. She looks the part and I’m going to try my best to keep her feathers this year. I’m not 100% sure I like her feathers but I didn’t give them much of a chance when I first got her. I want to see if they complement her movement and paces nicely, if they don’t I’ll clip them off and we can stick to our smart hunter look.
I also have a shopping list for this season
- New riding hat
- New navy show jacket that isn’t a hand me down
- My own boots so my mum and I don’t have to frantically swap in between our classes
- White gloves
It’s gunna cost me a bomb but I wanna look the part and fake it til I make it.
that’s all for now folks
Catch ya laters
Recently, as I said in my last post, I’ve finally mustered up the courage to jump Millie.
She LOVES jumping and in the pictures I’d take of our first session she looked so happy and eager to please.
But she’s a mare.
Opinionated and intelligent she decided by the second session that jumping properly like a good girl was so boring.
My first session I set up one jump, just to see how she jumps and take my aids. She was a super star.
So next time I set up two so we would jump one and circle around to the other. Due to the weather and some loading issues with Norman, my mums horse, the three days prior to this she hadn’t been worked.
She was wired. And another girl was riding her horse in the school too. So I was nervous. I always think people are judging us.
Millie ducked out at almost every time in canter. So I’d send her round to blow off some steam and try again. She’d duck out, I’d repeat and so on.
So thinking the girl who was in the school with me was getting annoyed with us dashing around at speed I was expecting to lose this battle.
But she sent her horse over the jump to see if Millie would follow and when she ducked out she stood her horse to the right where she ducked out. I thought Millie would see her as a barrier and clear it fine but this is Millie I’m talking about her.
Millie saw a small gap between the jump and the other horses head less than a foot wide and ducked and shoot through. And the other horse stood it’s ground as good as gold for me to try again. Not a single spook. She just moved her head. So the next time the girl explained because Millie ducks out to the right I should aim her towards the left wing. So I did, and it worked – with a little hesitation. So we tried again without the barrier and she jumped fine.
So I want to thank her and her horse, and if she reads this she’ll know who she is
Thanks again chick
Catch ya laters
In my last post I explained that I was taking a break and some time for myself and I have.
And I feel much better for it, and in all honestly I’ve had a spiritual journey as well. Iv taken up new beliefs which bring peace in my mind and I see things in a totally new light. I ask the gods to give me the power to do things and not ask them to just do it for me. I feel calmer, more powerful and at home now.
There are many types of old pre Cristian religions all derived from didn’t places in history. I feel I fall in the Norse Pagan category but there is still so much to learn. But I might blog about that later.
For all my horsey followers here’s some news! I’ve been competing and placing in dressage in Millie. Yes, my naughty mare who spend her free time putting me on my ass. And here’s the best part
The other day I popped her over a jump.
Look how happy she looks! Her cute little face is just screaming “I LOVE THIS SO MUCH”
I’m looking to enter the last two low key unaffiliated show jumping shows we hold at the yard next month.
So here I am, back, brand new and excited for the future!
Catch ya laters,
I’ve not been active at all this week I’ve been totally overwhelmed with work, vets and being super sleepy.
As you all know I competed last week on my Millie and Zimmy, one of our liveries.
We had an awesome photographer there as well –Equine photography by Daisy – she also edits, mounts and even puts your picture on a canvas or keyring! Her page is fairly new so do give it a like to watch her progress and find out about horsey events she’s at!
As I mentioned in my blog posts about the show and my lazy riding that Zimmy and I haven’t been going so well lately but my naughty, hormonal Millie was outstanding with 61.52% on our first ever test/show. Considering she has thrown me off so many times in the past few months to a year, with multiple falls in one thirty minutes session and one time through a wooden fence I think that’s fantastic.
First up her are some picture of Zimmy and I:
Just as tense as each other
I love photos in canter, they look so graceful but we know how much work it takes to keep you bum where it should be. Photos like these are a lot like looking at a swan – so peaceful above the surface but underneath they’re working overtime.
I love show shot of Zimmy. (But how uneven are my hands!!!)
Free walk on a LONG rein – not a loose rein next time.
Obviously these are taken on different tests. But it’s the best part of every test ….. the end.
Got my game face on! Zimmy? Not so much.
Breathing and relaxing for the first time since the test started. Every competitor can relate.
Now for Millie and I:
Doesn’t she shine!?
Not round but still pretty.
So excited for the next show! To improve and get better score. Looking at photos is always good to make little tweaks to your riding and position. But ever since my post from my first ever show. The nerves are still overwhelming!
Catch you laters,