To take my mind off of things and get my shit together I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.

I’ve been working out and eating clean – I’ve lost half a stone. And that has taken up a huge chunk of time by going to the gym and meal prep. I’ve also started drawing again and writing music. I’m teaching myself Swedish. I am working full time, doing an apprenticeship and volunteering as an animal health care assistant at the vets in preparation for my vet nurse training which is due to start in September. On top of this, I’ve started gaming again and I’m trying to see my friends more.

I’m trying to give myself a purpose. I’ve felt a little useless lately, even though my best friend who tells me how great he thinks I am everyday. I still feel totally….. irrelevant?

Things have the potential to be amazing, but are still so out of reach and you can’t make people love or want you. Even witch craft can’t do that. You can want someone so dearly but life gets in the way and some people just aren’t willing to work through it. – or that you’re not worth the effort?Âż I don’t know

But, I’ve realised I’ve not mentioned Millie in a while. She’s doing great, she’s not in work at the moment because I am a little strapped for cash and cannot afford her regumate to make her safe to ride. But she’s more than enjoying her time off. As soon as money gets better, I’ll be back on and training for the show season….. which begins next month.

I’m going to compete at preliminary level this year which is exciting and terrifying. Only one class up from introductory but it has the dreaded gate of canter thrown in.

I’m sure we will be fine. She’s great with throwing the right lead but it’s just the speed I’m concerned for. She looks the part and I’m going to try my best to keep her feathers this year. I’m not 100% sure I like her feathers but I didn’t give them much of a chance when I first got her. I want to see if they complement her movement and paces nicely, if they don’t I’ll clip them off and we can stick to our smart hunter look.

I also have a shopping list for this season

  • New riding hat
  • New navy show jacket that isn’t a hand me down
  • My own boots so my mum and I don’t have to frantically swap in between our classes
  • White gloves

It’s gunna cost me a bomb but I wanna look the part and fake it til I make it.

that’s all for now folks

Catch ya laters



Show time! In pictures

I’ve not been active at all this week I’ve been totally overwhelmed with work, vets and being super sleepy.

As you all know I competed last week on my Millie and Zimmy, one of our liveries. 

We had an awesome photographer there as well –Equine photography by Daisy – she also edits, mounts and even puts your picture on a canvas or keyring! Her page is fairly new so do give it a like to watch her progress and find out about horsey events she’s at! 

As I mentioned in my blog posts about the show and my lazy riding that Zimmy and I haven’t been going so well lately but my naughty, hormonal Millie was outstanding with 61.52% on our first ever test/show. Considering she has thrown me off so many times in the past few months to a year, with multiple falls in one thirty minutes session and one time through a wooden fence I think that’s fantastic. 

First up her are some picture of Zimmy and I: 

Just as tense as each other

I love photos in canter, they look so graceful but we know how much work it takes to keep you bum where it should be. Photos like these are a lot like looking at a swan – so peaceful above the surface but underneath they’re working overtime. 

I love show shot of Zimmy. (But how uneven are my hands!!!) 

Free walk on a LONG rein – not a loose rein next time.

Obviously these are taken on different tests. But it’s the best part of every test ….. the end. 

Got my game face on! Zimmy? Not so much. 

Breathing and relaxing for the first time since the test started. Every competitor can relate. 

Now for Millie and I: 

Doesn’t she shine!? 

Not round but still pretty. 

So excited for the next show! To improve and get better score. Looking at photos is always good to make little tweaks to your riding and position. But ever since my post from my first ever show. The nerves are still overwhelming! 

Catch you laters, 


Show time!: Cloud nine 

This weekend we had another show at the farm. 

Again I competed on my noble stead Zimmocha, but she wasn’t feeling it this weekend. She decided on the Saturday that it was too windy and she really didn’t like the flower pots around the arena and had other plans when it came to cantering KEH and sort of went KEGHA and we placed 3rd…….. Out of three. But I’m not angry or disappointed, she just wasn’t feeling it. On the Sunday however, I was just so tense from the test before that it showed in my riding. We placed 6th… But I’m just chuffed that the rosette is pink! 

But the real star girl this weekend was my gorgeous bay. Millie. Yes, Millie as in the hormonal, fence destroying, bronking moody mare. 

We won. 

I know, I’m on cloud nine. 

Without thinking I tacked her up as normal and headed over to the warm up arena and was stopped by my boss who told me I couldn’t ride in a pelum and martingale. (I had no idea, all I wanna do is jump) And I broke down, I was a mess. But I feel if I knew this before hand I wouldn’t have even entered. The shock in the sudden change of bit obviously took Millie by surprise as she didn’t yank my arms out!! She offered me a natural outline, which I wasn’t expecting so I didn’t hold he in it – so a lot of the comment mentioned her being quite hollow. But the judges overall comments started with “lots to like” which I am so incredibly happy with. 

Moving forward we start Millie’s hormone therapy today, which means we can build on these skills and our 61.52%. Not bad for our first ever show hey? 

Catch you laters